As our parents grow older and less able to cope with the demands of daily life, it’s prudent to talk to them about their plans for the future. There are several options to consider: they may want to move to a retirement community or care facility, live with a family member, or stay where they are. The last of these is by far the most popular with aging parents; research from the American Association of Retired Persons shows that 80% of people over 50 want to age in place.
Aging in place is not always practical or medically advisable, but evidence suggests that people who do are happier and healthier for longer. When our elderly parents stay in their home, they benefit from familiar and comfortable surroundings. They have more control over their lives, and they can keep the independence that is so important to psychological well-being.
If your elderly parents decide that aging in place is right for them, what can you do to help and support them? Let’s look at five ways adult children can help their elderly parents to live at home.
Offer Support, but Don’t Take Over
You want to make life as easy as possible for your parents, but that’s not always the best approach. Aging in place encourages older people to manage their life and home. That’s not possible if you take over cleaning, financial arrangements, grocery shopping, planning social activities, and other aspects of their life.
In fact, overzealous assistance often breeds resentment, and it can make people less likely to ask for help when they need it. It’s difficult to judge how much help your parents want or need, but it’s better to let them ask than to impose it on them. Avoid the temptation to solve every problem and take care of every need.
However, you should pay close attention when you talk to them and keep an eye on their health and living conditions; sometimes, you may have to intervene even when you haven’t been asked.
Be Proactive About Safety Concerns
Older people are often less aware of safety issues, especially when they arise from declining physical abilities or mental acuity. Reducing tripping hazards should be a priority. According to the World Health Organization, over 30 million people need medical attention after falling each year, and over 600,000 people die of injuries sustained during a fall.
People over 65 are at the biggest risk, but there’s a lot you can do to mitigate the danger:
- Fit stair rails or a stairlift.
- Fit threshold ramps.
- Equip toilets and showers with supports, and consider replacing bathtubs with walk-in showers.
- A home hospital bed can help older people who struggle to get into and out of bed safely.
- Make sure that a phone is easily accessible in case of an emergency.
It’s also a good idea to ensure that clutter and other fall hazards are cleared up regularly. If they can’t declutter and keep their home tidy, you may need to help your elderly parents to maintain a safe environment.
Encourage Exercise and Sociability
Exercise and an active social life contribute to ongoing health and independence. Exercise can stave off physical decline and help your parents to remain healthier for longer. Social connections play a similar role in maintaining mental and emotional health; older people often become isolated, leading to boredom, depression, and other mood disorders.
You can help out by organizing trips for exercise and socializing, accompanying your parent on regular walks or to the gym, or driving them to social events.
Be Prepared for Emergencies
Talk to your parents about what they should do during an emergency, and work with them to build a plan of action you both feel comfortable with. Ensure they know who to call and that the correct numbers are programmed into their phone. You may also want to consider a panic button or personal alarm.
Consider Hiring a Caregiver
Many adult children worry that they don’t have the time to care for their elderly parents, especially when they live at a distance. That worry makes a care facility seem a better option than aging in place because, although not ideal, it ensures their parents’ safety.
In some cases, they are right. Aging in place isn’t a good choice for everyone, and there are many reasons a care facility might be the best option. However, an in-home caregiver can provide the best of both worlds; your parents get the care they need, but they don’t have to leave their home.
Deciding whether to age in place is difficult for older parents and their adult children. The best choice depends on a range of practical, financial, and medical factors, but with their adult children’s help, many elderly parents can stay in their own home for longer.
